littleredheels's Xanga

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Sat, 21 Mar 2009 02:36:49 GMT

"Thinking..."

...of sunshine and moonlight.

It's been a month since I blogged...

And...

A lot of things have happened since then.

Should I blog about details of the happenings?

Nah.

I shall leave it just there. For now.

Anyone up for a cup of coffee? I am going to get myself one now.

...laters.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Sat, 14 Feb 2009 04:36:31 GMT

"L.O.V.E."

...is in the air.

It's been almost a month since I last blogged and of all the days, I chose today. I guess it just spells out N-O P-L-A-N-S! Lol...at least not yet.

23 years, equals 23 times I let Valentine's Day pass me by...actually, no. Wait, I think it's about 6 times only. I had a plan to only start a relationship when I turn 18 (my age is revealed!) But since then, I still remain single...hmmm, I wonder why? I guess there's really no rush in this...it's all in God's beautiful timing.

On this ever-so-LOVEly-day, I was reminded of a beautiful chapter in the Bible...one that reminds me of God's loving nature and also one that provides a guideline to what real love is.

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,
It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts,
Always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.

~1 Corinthians 13:4~

I still fail by far. I'm not patient. I'm not that kind (someone once told me I was mean. hmmm?). Jealous, can? Come on...everyone fails here too. Don't judge me. Lol. Proud? Hmm, if I really love my man, I'd be very proud of him... (i know it's not the proud in the passage le). I can be rude, especially when my day isn't good or when i'm really tired. Self-seeking (it means being selfish, right?) hmm, maybe not...but I like being pampered though. TREAT ME LIKE A PRINCESS! it's all about me...just kidding.

Easily angered...haha, yea I guess!

No record of wrongs, please, one thing girl's do best is to remember every single wrong thing said, or important dates forgotten. We remember the 1 wrong thing done rather than the 10 right things he did that day. No kidding. Sigh, almost everything also got problem...how la?

But the bottom half, agreed. Can be done, should be done and will be done: Protect.Trust.Hope.Persevere.

I don't believe anyone should start relationship with the intention of just trying it out. For me, it's not a game. It's a commitment to stay faithful even though sparks and romance starts to fade. The last phrase says...

Love Never Fails.

What do you think? Agreed?

I'll now retrieve to reflect about my oh-so-obvious-flaws. Probably another post will only happen in another month's time. Lol. Work is tough.

ps: I've got dinner and movie plans tonight. And, it's NOT with a guy.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Sat, 17 Jan 2009 10:11:16 GMT

"More Changes..."

...adapting is tough.

One of the things I really hate is CHANGE. But, like how my ever famous lecturer once quoted "The only thing constant, is change!"

First day of primary school...ADAPT! I just left a comfortable kindergarten to enter this big school. Every little boy was a pain that time and I had a girl classmate who was crazy (i.e. getting mad at anyone at anytime without any particular reason.) but I thought of her as best friend then though she pinched me a lot cos I guess I din really know how to choose friends then. I was getting used to all this, when..

First day at new school (still in primary: Standard 4)...ADAPT again! It wasn't that bad le, I had a childhood friend already studying in that school. But, that's when I got my first pair of geeky glasses. I came in way after they've started their syllabus, I had to catch with homework, the teacher was writing a lot of stuff on the board (new girl sits behind)...I realise I couldn't see a single word. That began the new phase of big round plastic geeky glasses (if you identify with me, keep your hands down!)...

First day at high school...tried to ADAPT again! First impression always counts, that's the first lesson I was never taught in primary school. By this time, I've put on a tonne of weight (if I only I could scan pics to show you!), so with a belly and gold metal round-framed glasses...I made quite a bad impression on seniors. So, all my attempts to adapt, FAILED. I was the outcast and the last to get picked for any activity in school (if you identify with me again, please keep ur hands down..for real!). I only felt at home again when I became senior, gained a bit more confidence and real friends, and then...

First day in college...ADAPT I did! I finally found a place I belong. No one knew me here, no one knew my past, so I could start afresh. Haha, by now I did kinda realise that image is important. I started dressing better (not in baggy t-shirts and lose grandma-faded-jeans) and I started being more extrovert. I joined a tonne of activities, was involved in a lot of committees and was totally braver than I thought I was...even emcee-ed in front of 1500 people and sang for charity drives (didn't sing well, but at least I got the money in!). Just when everything was going well...

I had to further my studies in KL...ADAPT again, again! This time, I was quite the turtle again. I stopped being active. The only thing I was going to do was go to classes, try to make the grades and pass. Won't say my entire college life was bad, I had two awesome friends/housemates and met a bunch of new, crazy people. They made life in college quite easy. Finding a church and fitting in was HARD though. Went to many for try-outs, but none fit that well...it's nothing to do with God (He's the same yesterday, today and forever), I just wasn't comfortable with the culture. (I won't list down the number of churches I visited!)

I finally know how it felt like being a visitor to church. It can be very scary. I always grew up in church, so I never really felt new or lost before. It was good experience except the part where they make you stand up, it actually can be quite the scary, ok?! Haha...but we just really want to welcome le!

First day in my current church (ACTS Church)...ADAPT again, again & again! Here, I've been through quite a lof of changes...from team-coloured Huddles, to Homes, to disintegration of Huddles to many, many others...it was quite an exciting ride. I guess changes happen for the better always (as long as it's God-centred)...we'll see where this next phase leads us to! I started out quite lost also, and never really fitted in...but now, it's finally FAMILY! I feel right at home...wanna find out bout my church, log on to : www.theactschurch.org

*Tsk tsk* This has been a really long post but yea, coming to an end...wait for it...it's coming! I'm still trying to adapt to this last area...WORK! Lol...I just started 2 months ago, so eveyrthing I'm learning is fresh from the oven...still trying to get used to Lotus Notes, PwC jargons and acronyms...and the work culture! I remember saying, "I don't want a job that makes me work more than 5pm and on weekends!" Now, guess what, I'm doing exactly that. Irony. I'm giving myself one year first, taking it slow will make things less stressful for me...

Change, change, change. I never stopped going through it. So if I did, do tell me I'm either boring or already 6-feet under.

Saturday, January 03, 2009

Sat, 03 Jan 2009 12:30:18 GMT

"Resolutions..."

...ardly hever appen.

Come 1st January and everyone asks if I've made any resolutions for the year. Hmmm, my reply would be...

None!

That is because I realise year in and year out I make a loooooooooooong list of resolutions that I thought I intend to keep but never really did in the end.

For example, I said I need to lose at least 10kgs by the end of the year (that's my yearly resolution from 2002-2008) and I never really did. I still look like a tub of lard, struggling to find the perfect fit for clothes. Every year, I start out excited about it but then, I just never have enough resolution in me to achieve it. Lol.

There are so many resolutions I made every year that I can't remember most of them anymore. I prolly should go hunting for the lists now. It's hiding somewhere, definitely, but I just can't remember where now.

On my list had places I wanted to go, people I wanted to be nicer to, hopes and dreams for the future, fears I wanted to overcome, characteristics I wanted to develop and get rid of. Some happened, some (I hope) is still in the process of happening.

Hence, my conclusion is not to make any resolutions this year and try to keep the ones I've made previously. I decide to just live in the moment and do almost everything my previous self would never have dared to do. (Not bad things, of course. That's still a big No.) I want to be free to explore outside of the boundaries my resolutions sets me in.

All that is a lazy person's excuse for not having any resolutions.

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Wed, 31 Dec 2008 06:30:02 GMT

"Happy Endings"

...to an interesting year 2008.

Finally, the year came to its end. For me, at this moment, seems like a bittersweet ending (some things happen, some things didn't). But for four of my good friends, this whole year has been pretty sweet...especially so in this last 2 months. They finally tied-the-knot!! Woohoo! Congratulations to...

Pin & Mace
~ 29 November, 2008 ~

Gabe & EuniceO
~ 27 December, 2008 ~

I'm so happy for all of you. And, also happy that I manage to come back to Penang to attend both their weddings. (almost didn't make it). Sorry, i stole this pictures off facebook! Lol. I know you guys won't mind.

Anyway, congratulations to those who proposed and got proposed to this year. (I know of at least 5 couples) Looking forward to your weddings next year. Better start saving now!

For those of you looking for love in 2009, all the best. I got no words of advice except...PRAY HARDer! Haha

HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE!

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Sun, 28 Dec 2008 14:48:42 GMT

"Say it..."

...it's about time courage steps in.

For far too long, I have kept silent about my thoughts and my emotions that should have been made to known to relevant people (ie family, friends, etc.) Other unrelated people seem to be hearing it more from me than those I need to say it to. So, change is coming this 2009, like it or not, I will be more verbally brave. (whatever that means! ) There isn't any reason for me to keep it to myself any longer. I seek clarity. I shall speak up and let my thoughts be heard! No more guessing game, once in a while, we should really let it all out.

Fyi, that is New Year resolution #147.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Mon, 15 Dec 2008 11:28:55 GMT

"Corporate..."

...that's my new look.

It's been 2 weeks since i started WORRRRRRRRRRRRKKKK! I now understand why those older people say...

"Studying life is so much better than working life"

"I would trade working for studying"

"Be thankful you're still studying"

I really do understand it now. I really miss my studying days. Lots of free time, flexible schedule, freedom to skip classes (although I don't condone it!), long holidays, no timesheets to fill, no dress code to follow, no need to be on-time and many many more. Haha, just 2 posts before, I was looking forward to it. Minds change. Don't judge me okay!

The only perks of working is that you get PAID. Working in my field does not liberate me from exams, but instead adds to it...I'm constantly required to upgrade myself, do plenty of assessments, getting tested along the way. Just when I thought I didn't have to study anymore. I was wrong.

For the past 2 weeks, I went through quite an intensive training session, equipping us for the coming PEAK period starting January, where we will be thrown into the deep end...to either sink or swim. It is tough. I had to learn how to use a particular software commonly used by the firm and I really struggle! I am computer illiterate, for those who know me. Me and computers are not friends. Lol.

Oh wells, t's only the beginning. I'm barely scratching the surface of what my life would be like for the next couple of years. I better start getting used to it.

God's grace is sufficient for me,
And His mercies are new every morning.

P.S. Do be nice and drop me a text once in a while to remind me I've got social life outside of work. Would definitely appreciate it.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Wed, 26 Nov 2008 16:38:12 GMT

"Happy Anniversary!"

...cheers to twenty-three years together.

November 25th, the day my parents decided to tie-the-knot 23 years ago after a long wait (at least for my dad it was. He waited 7 years for this!). They've been through the better and the worse...the richer and the poorer...the sickness and the health...and death has still not parted them. Amen to that! Their life together has been a testimony that I hold dearly to. It wasn't a perfect one but definitely a God-lived one. Their wait for the right one, never giving love away that easily before they met each other made me desire to do the same. Through thick and thin they've gone through life together, trusting God and never being in want. Growing up, I realised I've never lacked anything. I was also well taken care of. Blessed indeed. And, I realise I've never said this much but, "I love my Mum and Dad!" Cheers to another 50 years of abundant life and fruitful ministry together. *Mwah*

Monday, November 24, 2008

Mon, 24 Nov 2008 15:05:10 GMT

"7 Days"

...before I suit up for work.

In another week's time, I would have to throw myself out of bed at 6.00am...kick myself out of the toilet by 6.15am...jump out of my room at 6.40am...(breakfast = coffee)...roll out of the house at 6.50am...fly out of my car at 7.20am...wiggle my way out of the LRT at 7.45am...walk my way into the office by 8.00am. I have 30 minutes to do my morning devotion before work starts at 8.30am (going early just to beat the jam!)

I am so not ready for this.

Just to think that only about a month ago, I was nervous about the assessment...nervous about the interview...excited about the job offer...and excited about the job's pay. Now, I'm getting cold feet. Thoughts just kept running through my head. *No social life? 16 hour work days? Less gracious managers? Expensive parking? Safety?*

I guess I'm just stressing myself out too much.

Rightss...no more such thoughts. Someone said to me "Be Open and Excited for this new phase of you life. Don't fill it up with negative thoughts that might hinder you from seeing the awesome things you can accomplish and the great people you may meet in that company!"

Be open and excited I shall be. Now, Shopping Spreeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! A wardrobe change...new clothes! Woohoo!! Excited gila! Counting down to December 1st...(count and be excited with me!)

Monday, November 17, 2008

Mon, 17 Nov 2008 07:54:59 GMT

"Will you still love me..."

...if I was all these too?

It's the wedding season again. I know of at least 4 couples getting married in this 2 months. So, out of curiosity, I googled the wedding vows and took a good look at it...

"I take you to be my wedded (husband/wife), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, 'til death do us part."

Then thoughts played in mind..."Will I have and hold, love and cherish till death do us part...

- even when he has sweaty palms?
- even when he balloons up to a size of a jumbo jet?
- even when he smells like stinky tofu from Hong Kong movies?
- even when he looks like Tom Cruise in Tropic Thunder*?
- even when his sense of fashion has faded?
- even when he doesn't talk as much as he used to?
- even when he couldn't tell left from right?
- even when he has quirky behaviours that is embarassing?
- even when he has a pocket full of lame jokes?
- even when he is not as attentive as Melman the giraffe**?
- even when he throws a tanthrum or goes all emo?
- even when he farts and burps at his whim and fancy?
- even when he has a geeky laughter?
- even when his hair is not in place?
- even when his ego is bigger than the moon?
- even when he turns my white shirt into pink when trying to do laundry?
- even when he leaves his dirty dishes around the sink?
- even when he burnts my pots and pans trying to cook a dish?
- even when he is too busy with work and have no time to call?
- even when he can't remember what I said only yesterday?
- even when he forget anniversaries and birthdays?
- even when the bills are piling?
- even when he only has RM100 in his bank account?
- even when he cannot walk as fast as he use to?
- even when he is a lot of other things?"

I wouldn't really know. Honestly. At least not now. But, if I'm to marry that person, I guess I would have this all thought out before I walk down that aisle lah. (long time still!) Lol. Congratulations to my dear friends who are getting married! I'm happy for all of you!

* Tom Cruise was fat, bald, and ugly in that show.
** Melman is the giraffe in Madgascar 1 & 2, the latest movie in the cinema.