"Thinking..."

...of sunshine and moonlight.

It's been a month since I blogged...

And...

A lot of things have happened since then.

Should I blog about details of the happenings?

Nah.

I shall leave it just there. For now.

Anyone up for a cup of coffee? I am going to get myself one now.

...laters.

"L.O.V.E."

...is in the air.

It's been almost a month since I last blogged and of all the days, I chose today. I guess it just spells out N-O P-L-A-N-S! Lol...at least not yet.

23 years, equals 23 times I let Valentine's Day pass me by...actually, no. Wait, I think it's about 6 times only. I had a plan to only start a relationship when I turn 18 (my age is revealed!) But since then, I still remain single...hmmm, I wonder why?  I guess there's really no rush in this...it's all in God's beautiful timing.

On this ever-so-LOVEly-day, I was reminded of a beautiful chapter in the Bible...one that reminds me of God's loving nature and also one that provides a guideline to what real love is.

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,
It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts,
Always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.

  ~1 Corinthians 13:4~

I still fail by far. I'm not patient. I'm not that kind (someone once told me I was mean. hmmm?). Jealous, can? Come on...everyone fails here too. Don't judge me. Lol. Proud? Hmm, if I really love my man, I'd be very proud of him... (i know it's not the proud in the passage le). I can be rude, especially when my day isn't good or when i'm really tired. Self-seeking (it means being selfish, right?) hmm, maybe not...but I like being pampered though. TREAT ME LIKE A PRINCESS! it's all about me...just kidding.

Easily angered...haha, yea I guess!

No record of wrongs, please, one thing girl's do best is to remember every single wrong thing said, or important dates forgotten. We remember the 1 wrong thing done rather than the 10 right things he did that day. No kidding. Sigh, almost everything also got problem...how la?

But the bottom half, agreed. Can be done, should be done and will be done: Protect.Trust.Hope.Persevere.

I don't believe anyone should start relationship with the intention of just trying it out. For me, it's not a game. It's a commitment to stay faithful even though sparks and romance starts to fade. The last phrase says...

Love Never Fails.

What do you think? Agreed?

I'll now retrieve to reflect about my oh-so-obvious-flaws. Probably another post will only happen in another month's time. Lol. Work is tough.

ps: I've got dinner and movie plans tonight. And, it's NOT with a guy.

"More Changes..."

...adapting is tough.

One of the things I really hate is CHANGE. But, like how my ever famous lecturer once quoted "The only thing constant, is change!"

First day of primary school...ADAPT! I just left a comfortable kindergarten to enter this big school. Every little boy was a pain that time and I had a girl classmate who was crazy (i.e. getting mad at anyone at anytime without any particular reason.) but I thought of her as best friend then though she pinched me a lot cos I guess I din really know how to choose friends then.  I was getting used to all this, when..

First day at new school (still in primary: Standard 4)...ADAPT again! It wasn't that bad le, I had a childhood friend already studying in that school. But, that's when I got my first pair of geeky glasses. I came in way after they've started their syllabus, I had to catch with homework, the teacher was writing a lot of stuff on the board (new girl sits behind)...I realise I couldn't see a single word. That began the new phase of big round plastic geeky glasses (if you identify with me, keep your hands down!)...

First day at high school...tried to ADAPT again! First impression always counts, that's the first lesson I was never taught in primary school. By this time, I've put on a tonne of weight (if I only I could scan pics to show you!), so with a belly and gold metal round-framed glasses...I made quite a bad impression on seniors. So, all my attempts to adapt, FAILED. I was the outcast and the last to get picked for any activity in school (if you identify with me again, please keep ur hands down..for real!). I only felt at home again when I became senior, gained a bit more confidence and real friends, and then...

First day in college...ADAPT I did! I finally found a place I belong. No one knew me here, no one knew my past, so I could start afresh. Haha, by now I did kinda realise that image is important. I started dressing better (not in baggy t-shirts and lose grandma-faded-jeans) and I started being more extrovert. I joined a tonne of activities, was involved in a lot of committees and was totally braver than I thought I was...even emcee-ed in front of 1500 people and sang for charity drives (didn't sing well, but at least I got the money in!). Just when everything was going well...

I had to further my studies in KL...ADAPT again, again! This time, I was quite the turtle again. I stopped being active. The only thing I was going to do was go to classes, try to make the grades and pass. Won't say my entire college life was bad, I had two awesome friends/housemates and met a bunch of new, crazy people. They made life in college quite easy. Finding a church and fitting in was HARD though. Went to many for try-outs, but none fit that well...it's nothing to do with God (He's the same yesterday, today and forever), I just wasn't comfortable with the culture. (I won't list down the number of churches I visited!)

I finally know how it felt like being a visitor to church. It can be very scary. I always grew up in church, so I never really felt new or lost before. It was good experience except the part where they make you stand up, it actually can be quite the scary, ok?! Haha...but we just really want to welcome le!

First day in my current church (ACTS Church)...ADAPT again, again & again! Here, I've been through quite a lof of changes...from team-coloured Huddles, to Homes, to disintegration of Huddles to many, many others...it was quite an exciting ride. I guess changes happen for the better always (as long as it's God-centred)...we'll see where this next phase leads us to! I started out quite lost also, and never really fitted in...but now, it's finally FAMILY! I feel right at home...wanna find out bout my church, log on to : www.theactschurch.org 

*Tsk tsk* This has been a really long post but yea, coming to an end...wait for it...it's coming! I'm still trying to adapt to this last area...WORK! Lol...I just started 2 months ago, so eveyrthing I'm learning is fresh from the oven...still trying to get used to Lotus Notes, PwC jargons and acronyms...and the work culture! I remember saying, "I don't want a job that makes me work more than 5pm and on weekends!" Now, guess what, I'm doing exactly that. Irony. I'm giving myself one year first, taking it slow will make things less stressful for me...

Change, change, change. I never stopped going through it. So if I did, do tell me I'm either boring or already 6-feet under.

"Resolutions..."

...ardly hever appen.

Come 1st January and everyone asks if I've made any resolutions for the year. Hmmm, my reply would be...

None!

That is because I realise year in and year out I make a loooooooooooong list of resolutions that I thought I intend to keep but never really did in the end.

For example, I said I need to lose at least 10kgs by the end of the year (that's my yearly resolution from 2002-2008) and I never really did. I still look like a tub of lard, struggling to find the perfect fit for clothes. Every year, I start out excited about it but then, I just never have enough resolution in me to achieve it. Lol.

There are so many resolutions I made every year that I can't remember most of them anymore. I prolly should go hunting for the lists now. It's hiding somewhere, definitely, but I just can't remember where now.

On my list had places I wanted to go, people I wanted to be nicer to, hopes and dreams for the future, fears I wanted to overcome, characteristics I wanted to develop and get rid of. Some happened, some (I hope) is still in the process of happening.

Hence, my conclusion is not to make any resolutions this year and try to keep the ones I've made previously. I decide to just live in the moment and do almost everything my previous self would never have dared to do. (Not bad things, of course. That's still a big No.) I want to be free to explore outside of the boundaries my resolutions sets me in.

All that is a lazy person's excuse for not having any resolutions.

"Happy Endings"

...to an interesting year 2008.

Finally, the year came to its end. For me, at this moment, seems like a bittersweet ending (some things happen, some things didn't). But for four of my good friends, this whole year has been pretty sweet...especially so in this last 2 months. They finally tied-the-knot!! Woohoo! Congratulations to...

Pin & Mace
~ 29 November, 2008 ~

Gabe & EuniceO
~ 27 December, 2008 ~

I'm so happy for all of you. And, also happy that I manage to come back to Penang to attend both their weddings. (almost didn't make it). Sorry, i stole this pictures off facebook! Lol. I know you  guys won't mind. 

Anyway, congratulations to those who proposed and got proposed to this year. (I know of at least 5 couples) Looking forward to your weddings next year. Better start saving now!

For those of you looking for love in 2009, all the best. I got no words of advice except...PRAY HARDer! Haha

HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE!